Guys.. I <3 Yanderes.

Yandere is a portmanteau of two Japanese words. The first is yanderu, which means “to be sick,” and the second is deredere, used here for “lovestruck.” A yandere is often sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest.

There are plenty of reasons to love yanderes. The horror aspect, the toxicity aspect, maybe even the relatability of obsessive and possessive characters. For me? I've just been a very very lonely child, for a very very long time, and also, I'm chronically online.

Growing up, I was used to being the weird girl. It's not a position I necessarily enjoy as much anymore (if I ever did), but it was there. I was described as cute by my teachers, and even my long time friends would say that my outfits were always great. But, I guess my personality warded people off from being interested in me much. A girlfriend here, a boyfriend there.. but I always felt like it was me putting in all the work and love into a relationship, and regardless of whether my feelings were valid, that tended to be what caused me to pull back and let myself get "abandoned."

So, when you give a lonely, clingy, somewhat-unstable child access to the internet(more specifically, wattpad), it's only natural that she falls in love with an entire genre of characters dedicated to loving you, and only you, no matter what. Like, okay you've kidnapped me, but also that means anything I do won't be as bad. Also, I just really want someone to be my biggest fan. Mine and mine alone.

Is this toxic? Yes. Should I be in a relationship with anybody, knowing I only expect pure obsession and will be unsatisfied with anthing else? Absolutely not. Does it matter? Hell no, I'm greyromantic anyways. ^_^ Besides, I have my fanfiction and visual novels still. Until I find someone I can be mutually and platonically obsessed with, I'm fine with the twisted fucking cyclepaths from my shows. :3